dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Randomize