please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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