marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
