For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize