Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
