Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
