If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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