this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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