Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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