I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
