my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
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