happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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