guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
