genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
Do vagina's smell?
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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