is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
