I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
