Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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