he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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