I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
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