she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
