I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
