apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
