Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
being pregnant is like rehab
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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