i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
