I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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