I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
