I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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