I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
He did a backflip because drugs
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
