K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
