Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Will exercising make me less horny?
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