Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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