The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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