she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
