we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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