Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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