WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
