your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
