I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize