His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Porn is love you can see.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
