is wine microwaveable?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize