They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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