three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
