I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize