He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
