What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
