and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
