Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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