Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
