Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The air was thick with penises
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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