Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
