Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
