Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
