i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
