you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
The best revenge is premature balding
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
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