oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Drake has all the answers
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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