fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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