I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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