your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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