The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
