Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
