I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
