i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize