i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
