Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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