At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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