K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
