It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
