well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
