could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
