i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
