she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
