It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
