don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
