people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize