does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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