i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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