It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize