Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
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